Looking back on that night that I said goodbye to my daughter in Berlin I have often thought of several things - I won't touch her again until December, how much I appreciate someone when I can't see them, and just how precious she is to me but how often I take her and others for granted. But one thing that I have often reflected upon was what that moment taught me and really brought some things home to me that I really could not understand or appreciate before.
Knowing when I hugged her it was going to be a long time before I did again, made that hug so very special. It was not one of those hugs/kiss that is on the run. But it was one that was with feeling and at the same time realizing how much this person meant to me. How often do we really hug someone like that. Since then I have thought about my friends who never get to hug their children or a loved one again and I now have more compassion for those who lose someone. That is one good lesson that hug and goodbye taught me that night. Empathy is sometimes difficult for me, but that moment taught me a great lesson in empathy.
Looking back on moments in our lives or reflecting upon a moment at any given time can often reveal to us a lesson to be learned. And isn't it those hard lessons that we learn are the ones we really remember and learn from? I told my daughter once, the best thing about making a mistake is - if you learn from it - you never make it again. Many moments teach us lessons we learn from and benefit from.
I can't tell you how much I think about that hug that night. Letting go of a child like that is so difficult. Yes, I know, she is now 20, but it is still very difficult. I now have such profound compassion for the moms who say goodbye to their child who is a soldier, or the wife who's husband is leaving again for several months.
Another lesson it taught me was the value of touch. I am not the touchy feely type. Some of my friends are real huggers. But I was not raised in a family that way. But you know, it does mean a lot to really reach out to others and touch them with a gentle hand or give them a hug when they need one. Now that I can't touch her, I realize how valuable that gift is.
I guess my mother was right, no matter how old your children are, you still worry about them. Darn, I hate it when she is right. Those worries are just different, but filled with love.
There are so many moments in our life that we view as inconvenient and invasive, but even those moments can perhaps teach us something. That was a profound moment for me and has had a very positive impact of me. Instead of just raw emotion, I have realized a lot from that moment and value it even more. I look forward to hugging her again when she gets home. Diane
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